Super I turns four!

Two months ago my Lil’ Miss turned four!  I could hardly believe that 12 months had passed since she was three.  So to enjoy more of  the moments, I took a lesson learnt from the many projects I’ve worked in and outsourced

This year, the main event was the party with her pre-school friends.  Her interest in Gymnastics began late last year, when she enrolled in a class and when I found that her gym held kids parties – it was booked on the first business day after the New Year!

I spent the quiet days between Christmas & new year at work, designing and printing her invitations.  I was quietly pleased with the result and gave myself a pat on the back thinking how “clever and artistic” of me.

Four weeks before the party I looked at my list: invitations – check, catering (via Bowen Island café on the premises) for the kids – check, lolly bags (via café) – check, ice cream cake ordered from Duccio Gelato – check!  Then feeling inspired by my invitations and thinking I had all the time and skill in the world I thought it would be much more “super-hero” like if all the kids got a cape.  Wow! Yes! I can do that..

Three nights before the party despite having found a great superhero cape template online, I only had two capes made.  Admitting defeat I abandoned the task all together.

Even without the capes, the kids had a great time, whilst the mums & dad watched their children tumble, balance and fall – all the while laughing and working an appetite.

That night she was still wide-eyed from the day’s activities as I put her to bed:

“Mama, on my next birthday I will be five, then six, then seven, eight, nine, ten, ‘leven, twelve, fourteen then twenty!”

“Yes darling, but there’s no need to be in such a hurry to grow up”

“But I wanna be a grown up now!”

“Why?”

“’coz I wanna fly up in the sky and I won’t learn until I get to big school!”

“Oh I see”

Seems like the cape wasn’t needed after all.

leaping tall buildings in a single bound

a super hero must land with ease & grace

no fear

the much anticipated ice cream cake

super friends

searching for villans in their super hero cape

The times they are a changin’

Beneath my cool and calm exterior, is a person that sways towards the anxious side of life’s pendulum.  So it’s no surprise that I am freaking out about Lil’ Miss starting school next year.

“Next year?” you say … well, it may formally start next year but in a few weeks we’ll be attending several information nights to learn more about the schools on my shortlist (Yes, I have a shortlist) and by November this year, we’ll be going to an orientation day for the selected school.

Truth be told, I am loosing sleep over it and have had bad dreams.

It’s not so much the task of selecting a school, we’re lucky to have several good schools in the area.  In fact, all seem to be equally good that if I had my way, I’d be choosing based on the style of their school uniform!

It’s because starting school signals the end of her private life.  The transition from the private world to the public world – and it’s frightening.

Even preschool, that cocoon where the teachers only have first names and little beds are laid out in the afternoon, is a private place. Starting school is their first step into the public world. They are no longer considered so little that they need shelter and gentle handling. We stop using words like “care” and “love” quite so much when kids go to school. “Numeracy” and “literacy” become more important terms.

As for me, it’s the transition of being the mother-of-a-baby and what comes next (I don’t know what comes next but I guess I’ll find out next year).  No more toddlers to vex and delight me. No more tiny sticky hands up my nose or new shiny teeth popping up in gums; no more lying down with a warm little body for a daytime nap while the public world—full of postmen and trucks and telephones—goes on outside.

Lil’ Miss is ready to start school next year, she told me so. She is so excited about it that she has asked if it’s time to start counting sleeps.

Despite this enthusiasm, there has been some out-of-character behaviour of late.  There has been more tantrums lately, some days she insists on talking in a baby-like voice and have repeatedly requested that I tell her stories of things she used to do when she was a baby.  I know what’s going on with her.  She too feels the big wheel turning.

Like her, a part of me is excited about where this wheel will take our family.  My career, which I’ve kept bubbling for the last 4 years with carefully placed contracts, may blossom.  Perhaps I’ll finally learn to meditate and achieve spiritual peace.  I don’t know.

But like my daughter, I’m also full of unvoiced fears.  On good days, I’m cautiously optimistic.  On bad days, I want to drink copious amounts of red wine until menopause is over.

So, as her fourth birthday draws near, when Lil’ Miss clings to me, I will hug her harder.  When she chucks a wobbly, I will try to go easy on her.  And when she comes into our bed at 2am, I will let her stay & snuggle into my arms.  We may go into the unknown with doubts in our minds but there’s hope in our hearts.

Until then, she’s still my baby and I know her better than anyone.

wearing her backpack with pride

Lil' Miss enjoys drawing and learning to write her name

the fruits of her labour

Glamping 2011

It must not be easy being a modern man.  Their hairy primal selves are bound by manners, convention, expectation and everyday the beast within heaves against the straps, roaring in powerless frustration.

Ok that’s a bit much.  But I can imagine that it must be nice to unleash one’s inner wild man now and then.

As a boy, New Jack spent many summer holidays far from civilisation.  He can slingshot mangoes off their branches, climb 10 metre high trees and swim across a river. However the skills of tree climbing are of little use in a modest home in Sydney’s inner west… where he is often dispatched to attach one thing to another or set the challenge of assembling an Ikea purchase, both under the strict instruction to “do it properly”.

But in recent years a little joy has been introduced into our lives that has allowed  the caveman to come out and beat his chest a little.  That joy is ‘glamping’ – glamorous camping!

There is no hardship involved in this type of camping.  One sleeps in a tent but under one’s own linen and a feather duvet. A 200-day certified Angus beef rump steak cooks on the outdoor BBQ at night… peppery shiraz glowing in our own glasses.  It’s civilised.

Bears might do it in the woods but I most certainly do not.  Funny thing is that Lil Miss, having experienced no other ways of camping, will enter her school age years believing it is actually proper camping.

 On a recent trip to the Central Coast of New South Wales, New Jack attempted to re-connect with his inner caveman. Holding his shiny new fishing gear, “Me go fishing” he said one morning.  Promising to be home in time to clean the fish and cook it for lunch, he wrangled Lil Miss and set off, manly environmentally shopping bag at the  ready.

Later on that day  the empty wet green shopping bag lay on the floor as we ate our sandwich lunch and watched Bear Grylls on the TV.  Not long after, Lil Miss declares that she will hunt the bush turkey that she spotted earlier. She grabs her sword (twig) and bravely runs around the tent. The fact that she shrieked when a tiny lizard came out of a small bush doesn’t count ‘coz she’s a “brave explorer”.

We relaxed enjoying the quiet afternoon and I put my feet up, take a deep breath and sigh as I think ….”I really need a pedicure.”

Yup – nothing like a luxury camping trip for us city-slickers to get in touch with nature.

Related articles

• Glamping 101: What is “glamorous camping,” exactly? (gadling.com)
• Love the outdoors without all those icky bugs – try ‘glamping’ (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

It’s all about the dress

For most of the year, we have prepared her for the day.  First showing pictures and then selected You Tube videos so that she knows what to expect. Lil’ Miss will be a flower girl at Aunty L’s wedding.

The talks, pictures and videos resulted in a gradual build up of excitement, which peaked when the dress arrived. Purchased and sent from London (where Auntie L lives) it arrived on a satin coated hanger and carefully wrapped in tissue.  It was beautiful! ”Look at the flower petals Mama!” Lil’ Miss shrieked.

The white satin dress with a double layer of fine mesh that gently held pink silk flower petals was perfect to make any three and a half-year old girl feel like a princess.  As soon as I finished tying the pink satin bow behind her back, Lil’ Miss twirled and danced around the lounge room, with her arms wide open.

On the day, despite missing the church rehearsal due to illness, she did very well indeed.  She held hands with Auntie A (chief bridesmaid) as she walked down the aisle, followed all instructions to a T and behaved well.  I think she felt that the day was important.  She was a little disappointed at not being able to throw flower petals, as we’d seen on You Tube.  But this soon disappeared when she saw the ribbons and flags (in lieu of flower petals or rice).

With the ceremony at 11am, she enjoyed a much-needed rest and slept comfortably in her pram before the 4pm reception.  She awoke refreshed and just in time for the party, where she danced through the night assisted by the sugar high that the ‘lolly bar’ provided.

In the days that followed as we did our usual “favourite” parts of our day, she would reply with “being flower girl at Auntie L’s wedding”.

Garfish, Manly

“There it is! I see it!”

I’m standing in front of the mirror on my 39th birthday with an accusing finger pointed at my forehead as I panic.

“do you see that wrinkle?”

I’m not quiet sure who I was talking to but  New Jack is on the ball that morning and responds with the only correct answer

“I don’t see anything, baby!  You’re as beautiful as the day I met you”

Ahhh – good boy

A series of small celebrations follow over the next day or so. A cake shared with work colleagues, small family dinner at the local italian restaurant, a Friday afternoon treat at the Zumbo cafe all in the name of ‘what the heck – I’m 39!’.   But the main event was a lunch with hubby that weekend at Garfish, Manly.  Topped off only by a Sunday sleep in as Lil’ Miss enjoys an overnight stay at the grandparents’ house.

my Zumbo treat

Ok, this is the part where I pretend to be a food-blogger …..

On a Saturday afternoon, Garfish was a little quiet when we first arrived but was soon filled with local and visiting diners alike.  Located on the East Esplanade of the norther beaches suburb, the restaurant enjoys views of the wharf and we lapped it up from our table. The atmosphere was a little subdued but I put that down to the grey clouds – which is enough to dampen the mood of any Sydney-sider. 

As we waited for our entrée’s to arrive, we each sipped on a glass of crisp white wine.  The name of which I can’t remember as I was giddy (read tipsy) on my first sip and I forgot to note it down.

We shared a rather large serving of Mussels with white wine and cream sauce and crusty sourdough bread with olive oil & za’atar.  Although a few of the mussels weren’t cooked, they were full of flavour and went really well with the crusty bread.

For mains, New Jack had Eastern King Prawns with a side salad of spinach, beetroot, goats cheese, pine nut and blood orange dressing.

The dressing for the salad, surprisingly, enough, perfectly balanced the wood roasted prawns. On first bite New Jack said “Oh Yes!” and I thought I was about to witness a re-enactment of THAT scene from the “When Harry met Sally” movie right there.  Thankfully he did not.

I have a theory that chefs put items in the Specials menu to see how their new creations go down with their customers.  Or it could be where they put the left overs but I like to think of the former and not the latter.  So on my special day I ordered from the Specials menu.

The wood roasted (Hiramasa) Kingfish with kaffir lime beurre blanc mash & english spinach, did not disappoint.  The silky mash was creamy with the perfect tang and accompanied the kingfish beautifully.

what was left of our mains

The service was fantastic – friendly and efficient.  They were like ninja’s – dirty plates, cutlery and empty wine glasses disappeared at a blink of an eye  as water glasses were magically filled with sparkling mineral water and new plates & cutlery were laid down without either of us even noticing.

Luckily I remembered to take a picture before they took our plates away. “I think you’re supposed to do that before you eat it” New Jack says. Oooops!

When hubby booked he made sure to mention that it was a celebratory occasion and the manager seated us at one of their best positions.  Our table  provided us the perfect view of the boats bobbing in the water and we watched as each ferry came in and out of the busy wharf.

The staff also did well in  sectioning and grouping the diners to make sure that large groups or families weren’t seated next to couples – not that I mind it – but it’s one of my  pet hates.

After allowing some time to digest, Dessert arrived!  The Belgian waffle tasting plate for New Jack had each of the three waffles topped with different  ice cream – rocky road, cinnamon and hokey pokey, which he enjoyed the most.  The rocky road on the other hand was disappointing.

My hazelnut Pavlova with frangelico cream and fresh strawberries was Yum! New Jack’s attempt to convince me to swap dessert plates failed and his  hand was a little sore from my smacking it away at his attempts to get a spoonful.  Eventually I felt sorry for him and filled his spoon with a perfect bite –  delicious chewy meringue, tangy sweet strawberries all balanced by the frangelico cream.

All in all a nice restaurant that we throughly enjoyed and would come back to.  And unlike my food-blogging skills, Garfish guarantees not to leave a bad  taste in your mouth.

hazelnut Pavlova with frangelico cream & fresh strawberries

Belgian waffle tasting plate

Parent Survival Guide: Module 1 – How to avoid being flatmates

Congratulations on the arrival of a precious baby!  Noooo – not ours … our great friends have recently welcomed baby Mateo, their gift from God.

Seeing our friends find their feet as new parents, have brought back a flood of memories (good and bad) of those newborn days and early weeks of Lil’ Miss life.

Before her arrival and most especially during her pregnancy, New Jack and I  discussed and were determined to make sure that we didn’t turn into one of those couples that stopped connecting and lived like flat mates after they start a family.  We made all sorts of agreements to make sure this didn’t happen including date nights once a week … etcetera … etcetera …

Little did we know that when you first hold your precious bundle that it’s the beginning of a love affair more ferocious than anything you’ll ever imagine.  As a mum, you don’t just love your baby but you fall IN love with them.  Complete with the intoxicating thrill of a teenage love affair.  You stare into their eyes, stroke their face tenderly marvelling at their beauty.

During those 3am feeds and in the stillness of the early morning, it feels as if you’re the only two people in the world.  And when she looked into my eyes and reached up to gently touch my face, I would feel a rush of love more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced.

This is the kind of love that gives parents the animal instinct that would protect them at any cost.  And the love that guarantees the blinding one-sidedness that tells you your baby is the most beautiful child ever born, even if they do look like Dr Evil’s cat.

Thankfully, both Lil’ Miss and baby Mateo inherited their mother’s good looks

In those early months, Lil’ Miss got the best of us. She still does. Our time, energy, smiles, hugs, laughter, kisses, patience and she soaks it all up until there’s very little left.  The flip side is that we got the exhausted, sleep deprived version of each other.

So what happened to our candle lit dinners?  Well, more than three years on, I’m proud to say that we make an effort.  Our grand plans of a weekly date night has turned into a monthly Mummy & Daddy time – where we get all dressed up (in jeans and an ironed shirt) and enjoy a fancy dinner (at the local pub), or a casual gathering with friends or at times, a take away pizza in front of the TV. Whatever we need really. The best part is the morning after, a sleep in (’til about 8am) the following morning.

It takes military planning, arrangements made well in advance for a sleep over with a family member, discussions with Lil’ Miss pre-empting the sequence of events so she knows what to expect. All of which requires forward thinking and can be mentally draining depending on your state of mind.

Going from romantic couple to room mates is unfortunately, not limited to couples with children.  With longer working hours DINK (double income no kids) couples are not immune from becoming disconnected with each other.

We are fortunate enough to have access to many of great families/couples, from all walks of life and in all sorts of situations.  Taking their lead on the things that have worked, we’ve tried them and I offer below some of the things to keep in mind:

On a regular basis do …

• have dinner at the table – together at the same time, as a couple/family. Open up the lines of communication by turning off the TV and talk about each other’s day.  We do the round of best & worst parts of each other’s day.  Hearing Lil’ Miss’s answers often puts perspective on any work colleague /client/supplier etc that may have pissed you off that day
• enjoy a cup of tea or coffee with each other  - I find the best time for this is after Lil’ Miss goes to bed and after all the various tasks/chores, sit down and have a cup of tea to catch up
• verbally recognise the effort and the contribution that each partner bring to the household – be specific in your acknowledgements I find it heart-warming when New Jack says “Thanks for folding my clothes”
• take advantage of cuddle-moments as you pass each other in the hallway/bathroom/ kitchen – it only takes a few seconds to give each other a bear hug and will have long-lasting effects

Occasionally do …

• send the kids to babysitters and enjoy a child-free day or night
• watch a movie together that doesn’t involve a Wiggle, a puppet or a Disney character
• something fun and/or silly as a family – we have ‘Silly Saturdays’ where we’ve been known to eat our dinner on a picnic rug at home (carpet picnic) or crank up the Michael Jackson tunes and bust-a-move, not surprisingly this is New Jack’s favourite activity
• give yourself the space/time to just do your thing – do not lose those characteristics about yourself that you like.  Chances are, these are the same characteristics that your partner fell in love with.

simple pleasures during an afternoon date at the beach

homemade pizza for ....

... our carpet picnic

Sometimes we succeed.  Other times we disagree, get frustrated or simply just crash and burn like an action scene from a Bruce Willis movie.  Through it all we always, try to be supportive and patient.  But most of the time we laugh at ourselves and each other.  Maybe that’s the secret ingredient.  Whatever it is for you – harness and cherish it.

Thanks for reading!

To market, To market

After watching the Jaime Oliver Food Revolution series, we realised that we haven’t been to a growers market in ages so we decided to take advantage of the sunny winter mornings and the small break from the usual Saturday morning activities of dance and swimming classes, to visit a few.

   

After finally parking the car and a short walk to the market grounds, we were immediately greeted with the sights and sounds of it all … booming voices spruiking, the aroma of freshly ground coffee and bacon & egg rolls wafting across the  grounds, scented potted herbs and cut flowers proudly displayed and not to mention all the fresh fruits and vegetables with most/all the dirt still on them and without the artificial gloss.

Pyrmont growers market

The Sydney Morning Herald Growers market at Pyrmont brings out the gourmet foodies to buy their venison, buffalo mozzarella all the while clutching their cherished bag of truffles and as they watch a cooking demonstration.

Held on the first Saturday of each month, there’s a different chef each time – when we went it was 2010 Masterchef contestant, Marion Grasby.  She was a delight to watch, entertaining and informative.

At the Organic food market in Lilyfield, it’s the usual inner west crowd:- bay runners dropping in after their morning run, young families, people with their pets and cooking class groups purchasing their goodies. New Jack and I particularly enjoy people watching in this market as we buy our weekly supply of fresh fruits & veggies.

stopping to smell the roses

Lil’ Miss enjoys sniffing the flowers and sampling from many food vendors … a baby brioche roll from the french bakers, a tasty slice of cheese, an apple compliments of a lovely couple who run an orchard in the NSWapple growing region of Bilpin.

Where usually I would rely on an array of snacks in my handbag for those morning or afternoon tea snacks … on market days there’s no need for them

Whilst Lil’ Miss get by on her smile, not having to dish out a cent on her morning tea, she isn’t the only one that enjoys a morning snack .

As Our days of getting by on our looks are long gone so unfortunately we have to pay for our bacon & egg roll with capsicum relish at Pyrmont or home-made empanadas at Lilyfield, their aroma luring us to their stall.

 

 

 

Unlike one of those kids in the Jaime Oliver series that doesn’t know their potato from their tomato, Lil’ Miss loudly and proudly declares the name of each item that she recognise  - ”Mushrooms”, “Carrot”, “Yummy strawberries!”.

 

At times, she confidently picking things up to put them in the basket herself with an announcement of her decision “we need more pears Mama”. Not a question. Just a statement and no discussion.

Pony ride

 

 

Not long after making our last purchase we’re head back to the car.  But of course, no visit is complete without a few minutes spent at the playground, jumping castle or whatever children’s attraction is available.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heading back to the car with our bags of goodies, Lil’ Miss skips along and asks to return again next week.  Who says shopping with kids isn’t fun?!

Tantrums

I was happy to enter the toddler stage and looked forward to the journey towards the next set of development milestones.

There was one I was not looking forward to and as these things go, it didn’t take long for the toddler tantrum to arrive.  The first of which was the week after Lil’ Miss turned two – bang on time (so to speak).

On this particular afternoon, she began on the bus on the way home.  She was whingeing all through the trip, the cause of which escapes me now, but rest assured it was trivial.  

Using the standard measurement of earthquakes, what began as a 2.8 on the Tanty-Richter-scale, quickly built up to a 3.2 by the time we walked through the front door.  Within minutes, the floor and furniture vibrated and shook about as she escalated to throwing herself on the floor accompanied by high-pitched screams & cries.

Repeatedly saying “Mama!” followed by some incoherent ramblings and pausing only to gasp for breath before she goes into the next rendition.

By this stage, I had tried almost everything to calm her down but she was past the point of no return.  So I figured I may as well wait it out.

For a brief moment I wondered if any of the gazillion parenting books I read covered what to do in this situation.  If it did, it must have been one of those nights when I fell asleep after two paragraphs.

So I got down on to the floor and calmly told her that she was to stay there and cry as much as she likes and that I’ll be waiting for her with a cuddle and a kiss, when she’s finished.  Then I left the room.

The loss of her audience was simply a shock and stopped her dead in her tracks.  Only momentarily though as she followed me into the next room and repeated the performance all over again.  Mind you, not before cautiously looking behind her to check if she’ll land on anything.

And oh what a performance it was!!!  Rivalling an award-winning actress, she continued for almost an hour as I moved around from room to room.  It ended with both of us on the floor, arms around each other.  Lil’ Angel had whittled down to that familiar after cry breaths and I with silent tears streaming down my face – so glad that the ordeal was over.

Thankfully, now more than a year later, I am happy to say that we got through this phase relatively unscathed.

How have you or someone you know handled toddler tantrums?

Related articles

• How to stop tantrums: tips from real mums (kleenexmums.com.au)
• Quick Behavior Tips on Calming Tantrums (atfamilybuzz.wordpress.com)
• Take Charge of Your Child’s Temper Tantrums (everydayhealth.com)
• Toddlers and Temper Tantrums Techniques. (createwhatyouwant.wordpress.com)